My saintly mother often remarked that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. That is to say, if you complain about something loudly enough, and for a long enough time, you will eventually achieve your objective. She obviously did not consider herself subject to this rule, however, because, as a child, my squeak-to-oil ratio seemed to disprove her theory.

Regardless, it is a pretty fair assessment of basic human relations that the more vocal you are, the more attention will be paid to your endeavor. Of course, the results of continuous outspokenness may not always be the most desirable.

Although recent protests certainly raised global awareness, and may yet yield reform, “getting the oil” in Iran means also getting bullets, clubs and axes. For a liberal Russian journalist, “getting the oil” might be a euphemism for being poisoned. Uygurs in China are “getting the oil” right now, and their Tibetan neighbors have been getting it for decades.

Even in the US, the loudest leaders of popular causes garner as many character assaults as they do followers. Take note, Squeaky Wheels. The oil for which you thirst may be bitter, indeed.

On a more frivolous level, I have noticed that social-media-site-popularity is definitely commensurate with squeakiness—specifically on the Twitter. Hashtag strategies and courtesy follows notwithstanding, it seems that the best way to “get the oil” and attract a crowd of fans is to remind them of your existence hundreds of times a day.

The most successful nobodies on Twitter or Facebook are the ones whose fingers seem never to leave their keyboard or mobile device. There is a ton of advice out there about providing useful information, entertaining content, and shrewd insights, but it really seems to be the quantity of squeaks that “gets the oil.”

It’s not hard to spot the squeakiest wheels. Your feed is littered with their avatar. You know all of their food and beverage preferences. You know what music they like, and who their “friends” are. They are annoying and mundane, but compulsively addictive.

The Über-Squeakers employ a component of consistency in social media self-branding. Whether their patterns are inadvertent or intentional, the repeated themes seem to tip the oilcan dramatically. How else can one explain the exuberant and voluminous response to ritualistic pictures of bedhead and near-daily pants lamentations? (Not that there is anything wrong with brand consistency, or repetition to the point of exhaustion. This IS an advertising blog, after all.)

So, perhaps the best way to become Internet famous, at least in the social media sense, is to make the most noise possible about your three to five favorite topics.

Post status pictures of your inbox every hour.

Write daily updates about the shapes you see in your pet’s poop.

Alert everyone to rush hour conditions in your metro area, in the morning and at night.

Squeak away, squeakers, and open wide for the WD-40.

—Lisa